


Perfectly Wrong

by skamstories



Category: SKAM (Italy)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 08:28:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18279521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skamstories/pseuds/skamstories
Summary: It's the summer after season one, and Eleonora Sava keeps running into Edoardo Incanti. Maybe, just maybe, she might grow to like him. But then she has to deal with the repercussions. (DISCONTINUED)





	1. Chapter 1

Eleonora grinned as a message from Silvia popped up on her phone, opening her phone to look at the newest picture of Silvia’s cat. 

God, she loved that girl. What a precious human. 

When she looked at Silvia she could almost see a younger version of herself. Her instinct was to protect her. To shield her from the evils of the world.

Like Edoardo. She frowned at the thought, conflicted about him. On one hand, he seemed like pure evil. The cliche fuckboy who sleeps with girls then ignores them after he’s claimed his notch on the wall. But then he’d apologise to Silvia or he’d call Eleonora bellisima and beg her for a date.

She just didn’t understand him.

It had been an interesting introduction to her new school, but Eleonora was glad she’d moved. She’d made amazing new friends and only had to deal with one annoying male. But thank god it was over.

School had been over for about two weeks, and part of her missed seeing some of the faces she’d gotten used to seeing everyday. But she wasn’t going to focus on that.

She moved her bag back up her shoulder as it fell down, looking around her at the shops she’d been absentmindedly wandering through. If she was honest, she was a little bit lost. She wasn’t terribly troubled by that though, she had her phone on her if she needed to use maps or call one of the girls.

It was great knowing she wasn’t alone. She hadn’t always known that before, but here in Rome she did.

Her face buried in the screen of her phone, she wasn’t paying attention to her surroundings. She clipped the shoulder of a stranger she walked past, knocking their shopping out of their hands. She stared in horror as their shopping bag fell to the floor, quickly bending down to help pick it up.

“Ele, it’s fine. Stop.”

She froze, looking over at the person she’d bumped into for the first time. She locked eyes with those damn pools of chocolate and felt her face heat up.

Edoardo gave her a soft smile, picking up his bags easily with one hand. He held out his other hand for her, and instinctively she took it. He gently pulled her up with him, his hand lingering on hers. She wasn’t thinking properly.

Realising she was acting like an idiot, she pulled her hand from his. “Sorry” she said, unsure if she was sorry for knocking into him or sorry for letting herself act that way.

“It’s okay, Ele.”

She furrowed her brow, just realising what he had been referring to her as. “Why are you calling me that?”

His hand that had just held hers flew to the back of his neck, an unsure expression flitting across his face. She’d never seen him look this unsure.

“Well, I heard Eva call you it, and then it’s your Instagram name so I figured it wasn’t a private thing. If you don’t like me calling you-”

“No, it’s okay” she said without thinking, taking pleasure in his small bout of low confidence. 

He grinned at her, confidence back. “Well, you know, you could call me Edo.”

She gave him a puzzled look. “But your name is Eduardo? How do you get Edo from that?”

He laughed. “Yeah yeah. Vabbe.”

She held back a laugh, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. There was a small moment of silence, and now would be the perfect time for her to say goodbye and leave but instead she found herself asking “so what are you shopping for?”

He gave her a look like he saw right through her, and she felt warmth flash through her from his piercing gaze.

“It’s my cousin’s birthday next week, so I came here to buy her a present. I haven’t bought her anything yet, though, just things for myself.”

She let herself laugh this time, trying not to focus on the look of joy that he gave her when she did. “Well what have you bought then?”

He held up his shopping bag with one hand. “Books.”

She reached for the bag, her fingers brushing his as she took it from him. “I didn’t know you could read” she teased.

It was his turn to laugh, and now she knew what he’d felt when he looked at her before, because his laugh seemed to set her whole body alight. She felt the heat in her cheeks, ignoring it as she peeked into the bag. “These are indeed books” she said in an amazed tone, handing the bag back to him.

“Some of them don’t even have pictures” he teased, getting another laugh from her.

Without realising, they’d started slowly walking together. God, what was she doing?

“So what are you here for?” Edoardo asked and she shrugged. 

“Nothing in particular. Just wanted to get out of my house.”

He gave her a questioning look, and looked like he was about to say something but decided against it.

“Well, then you should help me find a present for my cousin.”

It was bold of him to assume she’d want to spend more time with him seeing as she’d repeatedly rebuffed him, but like that time in the courtyard where Eva had dragged her away she found herself wanting to give in.

And Eva wasn’t around to drag her away.

“I guess that doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world.”

He smirked. “So the thing with my cousin is, she’s twelve. And I have no idea what twelve year old girls like.”

Eleonora giggled. “So no sisters then?”

His face fell, and she knew she’d seriously fucked up, but he recovered in a heartbeat. “Nope” he said, quietly so she knew she wasn’t reading him incorrectly.

She wanted to reach out, to hold his hand or stroke his face, and she mentally slapped herself at the thought. She couldn’t be feeling this way. He’d fucked one of her best friends then ignored her. He’d put marks on a wall that represented the girls he slept with. He’d treated Silvia like hell.

She crossed her arms across her chest, not sure why she hadn’t left yet.

“So what should I get her?”

She shrugged, looking straight ahead.

He was silent for a long moment, slowing to a stop. He reached out to take her wrist in his hand, heat shooting up her arm when he did. “Want a coffee? My treat.”

She should say no. She should tell him to stop treating her like they were friends. Like there was even the slightest possibility that she didn’t detest him. But instead she said yes and followed him to the coffee shop a few stores down.

She sat at their table while he ordered, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. She stopped on a photo of Silvia, frowning.

“Here you go, bellisima” Edoardo said, placing her coffee in front of her.

She watched him sit down, internally debating for a second before throwing caution to the wind. “Why did you treat Silvia like that?”

He looked up at her, a little startled. It took him a second to answer. “I didn’t know she wanted to date me. I thought we were on the same page.”

Eleonora gave him a scathing look. “And why did you think that?”

He went to pick up his coffee, deciding against it and making a confused gesture with his hands. “I don’t know, I don’t know how girls work.”

She was taken aback by his confession, his words not matching up with the image of him she had in her head. “What do you mean?”

He sighed. “Well, I mean, if I assume a girl wants to date me then I look like an idiot when they don’t. I get told I’m thinking in stereotypes because not all girls are desperate for a boyfriend. Then when I assume they don’t want a boyfriend I get called out in front of all my mates, not only by the girl in question but her friend too.”

Eleonora laughed, looking at the boy in front of her. His hand had started rubbing the back of his neck as he talked, and she now knew it to be a nervous tick. 

“You know, you could just ask girls what they’re looking for. That’d probably fix that issue for you.”

He took a sip of his coffee, shaking his head slightly. “Yeah I’d look so cool then.”

Eleonora rolled her eyes. “If you can take the time to talk girls out of using a condom you can take the time to ask if they want a relationship.”

He paused mid-sip. “You’ve talked to Silvia about whether or not I use condoms?”

She rolled her eyes again. “You should probably ask girls if they’re on the pill during that conversation, by the way.”

Edoardo gave her an alarmed look. “Aren’t they meant to tell me if they’re not?”

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes again. Three times was probably too many. “Eduardo, you’re an idiot.”

He gave her a slightly exasperated look. “Edoardo.”

She smirked, raising an eyebrow at him. “Sorry, what?”

“Eleonora Francesca Sava” he muttered, shaking his head.

There was a pause in the conversation, Eleonora thinking to herself that she needed to get her feelings under control. 

“I apologised to Silvia, you know” Edoardo said, breaking the silence.

“I know” she responded quietly.

“I really didn’t mean to hurt her.”

“I know” she responded again, not sure why she knew that. But for some reason she really did believe that he hadn’t meant to hurt Silvia.

“I didn’t start the wall, either. I don’t even really participate in it. I tell the boys about a girl and then the mark appears.”

Eleonora laughed. “So you admit it exists, though. Finally.”

Edoardo sighed. “I didn’t know what to say, okay?”

“Hmm, I’m getting the sense that happens a lot.”

He shook his head, taking another sip of his coffee before setting it down on the table.

“What do you want me to do? Destroy it? I can do that, if you want.”

She laughed. He wasn’t what she expected. “It’s fine. You can keep airing your dirty laundry in public.”

He raised an eyebrow at her and she looked back at him, the two of them locked in a staring contest for a few seconds.

It was her that broke the silence. “So what does your cousin like?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Twelve-year-old stuff.”

She rolled her eyes. “Is she into makeup, music, books, movies, clothes? Come on. You have to give me something to work with.”

He laughed. “All of those things, I guess.” He paused, lost in thought for a second. “She keeps talking about pinterest recipes.”

Eleonora laughed, automatically thinking of Silvia and her baking. “You should get her things she can cook with.”

He smiled. “You’re brilliant.”

She shrugged.

A waitress came over with a slice of cake and she realised he’d ordered one for them to share. They sat there for a while, eating the cake while talking about the books he’d bought and what they liked to read. 

“Are you done?” He asked after their cups had been sitting empty on the table for a while. She nodded in response. “Come on then, you have to help me pick stuff out.”

“Yes, sir” she responded, laughing.

He held his hand out for hers and she grabbed it, letting him pull her up out of her chair. She fell slightly into his chest, his other hand steadying her by holding onto her waist. She looked up at him, her blue eyes locked with his brown ones.

Oh no.

Nope.

She pulled away quickly, mentally hitting herself. She needed to stop.

Okay, so maybe they could be friends. But they couldn’t do that.

“So the homewares store?” he asked, his voice slightly lower than normal.

She made a sound of approval, not trusting her own voice.

She needed to leave. Soon. What would the girls say? She could not be another notch next to Edoardo’s name, another girl to fall under his spell. She was Eleonora Sava. She ripped boys like him to shreds in the schoolyard, she didn’t let herself feel this way about them.

He’d get what he wanted from her and leave. She knew boys like him.

She kept a safe distance from him as they walked to the homewares store, neither of them speaking. She guessed he was probably thinking he had her in the bag now. She needed to put him back in his place somehow.

She wanted to rip him to shreds like she had in the schoolyard, but something about the way they’d interacted today made her feel like she couldn’t. She knew he wasn’t a complete dick now. She even kind of liked him as a person. But they still couldn’t go beyond that.

As they walked into the store, she scanned the shelves. They walked deeper into the store, Edoardo picking things up and putting them down. They reached a display of cooking utensils and Eleonora picked up a bright pink spatula, turning it over in her hands. “You know who loves baking? Silvia.”

He looked at her quizzically before nodding his head. “That’s cool.”

She pursed her lips before continuing. “It’s funny. Silvia and I didn’t always get along. But now, she’s like family to me.” She looked up at Edoardo, fire in her eyes. “I don’t like it when people hurt her. I don’t ever want to hurt her.”

Edoardo looked at her for a long moment, his eyes scanning her face. He nodded slightly before looking away.

“So what kind of stuff should I buy?”

She felt like there was a hole in her stomach. A wave of resentment washed over her. She hated this situation. She looked down at the spatula in her hands, turning it over and over.

“Ele?”

She looked up, shrugging. She tried to keep the sadness off her face. “I don’t know, does she have the normal baking stuff?”

He stepped closer to her, his hand twitching at his side like he was going to reach out for her but thought better.

“I don’t know what she wants. I just want to give her what she wants.” He locked eyes with her while he spoke, and she had to look away. She knew he wasn’t talking about his cousin.

“Maybe she has everything she needs” she said.

“Hmm, but what about what she wants?”

She sighed, looking down and holding out the spatula for him. His fingers brushed hers as he took it, lingering far too long. “Just get her some pretty basics then. Or decorating stuff. Sprinkles and piping bags.”

Still looking down at the floor, she saw that his feet were getting closer to hers. He was too close, she could feel the heat coming off his body.

He reached out for her hand, and she quickly pulled it away.

“I’m not going to be another mark on your stupid wall, Edoardo” she said harshly, her voice full of anger. She looked up at him, locking eyes with him, glaring at him.

He looked startled, not even mentioning that she’d used his real name for the first time.

“Ele-”

“Stop calling me that.”

He gave her a determined look, grabbing her hand as she turned to leave. “Eleonora, you’re so much more to me than a mark on a wall.”

She refused to look at him, not able to withstand the force of his gaze anymore.

He stepped impossibly closer to her and she could feel every part of his body pressed against hers. She didn’t make any move to push him away. His free hand moved up to the side of her face and he tucked her hair behind her ear, his thumb rubbing against her cheek. “You said I should ask girls what they want. So just so we’re clear, you want to be with me and I want to be with you? But we’re not because you don’t want to hurt Silvia, and because you think I’ll put your name on a wall?”

She stared up at him, lost for words.

He leant down, and she thought he was going to kiss her. And she wanted him to. But he pressed his lips to her forehead, his hand cupping the side of her face.

“We can figure it out, Ele.”

She felt hot, too hot. She didn’t say anything, just pushed him away and walked out of the store.

She needed fresh air. She needed to get out of this stupid shopping centre and away from Edoardo and his stupid deep brown eyes.

How could life be this unfair? She needed to forget this day had ever happened.

She finally found her way out of the centre, and as she stepped outside her phone buzzed.

She looked down at her phone. There was a message from Silvia in the group chat. 

“Ele, why did one of the girls in my class say she saw you shopping with Edoardo earlier today?”

Cazzo.


	2. Chapter 2

Eleonora was sure she’d read this line before. She frowned as she finished the paragraph, wondering how long she’d spent on this page of the book she was desperately trying to concentrate on. She flipped the page, quickly realising she definitely hadn’t taken in any of the information on the previous page. She had no idea what these characters were talking about. 

She flipped the page back again, starting at the top of the page once more.

After reading the first line on the page about four times, she still hadn’t taken any of it in.

She sighed, giving up on her book and throwing it onto the blanket she was lying on.

Slinging one arm over her face to cover her eyes, she let herself finally think about the subject she’d been trying to keep her mind off.

Edoardo.

She’d barely slept last night because she couldn’t stop running over everything in her head. She’d come close to making a pros and cons list before deciding that was just childish.

He’d sent her multiple messages after she ran away from him the week before, wanting to know if she was okay and saying he was sorry. He’d finally stopped sending them a day ago, and part of her wished he’d kept trying.

The whole situation was just so frustrating. There was no easy fix, because it wasn’t just one thing.

Miraculously Silvia could be totally fine with things, but Eleonora would still worry that she was only another girl on the wall to him. He could somehow prove that he was serious about her, but she’d still have Silvia to worry about. 

It was just all too much.

And how was she supposed to know she wasn’t just another mark on a wall to him? They’d spend time together and she’d feel like the only girl in the world to him, but what if that was just his typical move? Silvia had probably felt like the only girl in the world to him too. How was she supposed to believe that he wasn’t only interested in the game of chase she’d created for him to play?

But god, when it was just the two of them she so badly wanted him to want her for real. She wanted to believe him when he said they’d figure it out.

“Eleonora?”

She looked up to see the subject of her thoughts standing in front of her, automatically sitting up. How did they keep running into each like this? It was getting ridiculous.

“Hi.”

His hand went to the back of his neck as he greeted her back, and she felt a surge of warmth as she watched him. He was nervous again, probably worried she’d yell at him to leave her alone.

“Do you want to sit?” She asked, trying to show him she wasn’t angry.

He nodded. “Sure.”

“You can call me Ele, Edo” she said, the fact that he’d called her by her full name not lost on her. She knew he was calling her that because she’d so harshly told him not to call her by her nickname the other day.

He sat down next to her on the blanket she’d laid out on the grass, leaning back on his hands.

They sat in silence for a moment, and Eleonora nervously twisted a lock of hair around her finger.

“I’m sorry about the other day.”

Eleonora’s hand stilled, and she slowly looked over at him. All she could think about was the way he’d held her, the way he’d kissed her cheek. “Are you really though?”

He locked eyes with her. “I am. You have reservations about us as a couple, and I should respect that.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, and Eleonora wanted nothing more than to forget all the reasons why they shouldn’t be together. She wanted this to be easy; but it wasn’t.

“I know why you think that you’d just be a mark on a wall to me, and I’m happy to prove you’re not.”

She felt her heart speed up at his words, but she couldn’t help but feel like what he was saying was too good to be true.

“Can we be friends?”

No. She didn’t want that. But she nodded her head anyway.

“Okay. Friends.”

Edoardo pulled a book out from the bag he’d laid on the ground when he sat down. Her eyes followed him as he lay down next to her, watching as his dark eyes scanned the page and took in the story. There was one curl just above his left eyebrow that was hanging down and she had to resist the urge to brush it back into the rest of his hair.

“Friends don’t look at their friends like that, Ele.”

She felt heat rush to her face at being caught, and she tried not to think about the smug look on his face too much. She responded by picking up her book from the blanket, lying down next to him and attempting to focus on it though she was more distracted than ever.

She had the same problem as before, reading the same page four more times before giving up and placing her book down on the blanket again.

She resumed her position from before, with one arm slung across her face to cover her eyes and shelter them from the sun. She was so tired from sitting up lost in her thoughts the night before. She just needed to shut her eyes for a minute.

“Ele, wake up.”

Eleonora groaned lightly at the voice, which was weirdly coming from just above her head. “No.”

“Come on, honey.”

“No. Va’ via.” Go away.

The voice laughed lightly, and it felt like the ground was moving with it. She furrowed her brow, wondering what on earth was going on.

Opening her eyes, she felt heat rush to her cheeks as she realised her head was resting on Edoardo’s chest. She must have rolled over while she was asleep.

While she was embarrassed, it wasn’t lost on her that it was a very nice chest to rest her head on.

“You’ve only been asleep about twenty minutes, don’t worry.”

Eleonora rubbed her eyes, sitting up. She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to shake off the desire to curl back up into him. She tried not to think about the fact that she’d been dreaming about him lately, and that when she was little she used to talk in her sleep.

“Sorry.”

He grinned over at her. “I really didn’t mind.”

She tried not to read into that.

“Don’t worry, you don’t snore.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “You probably do.”

He laughed. “Wouldn’t you love to know.”

They were flirting, and part of her wanted to tell him that less than an hour ago he was claiming they could be friends. But she didn’t want to have to stop flirting with him.

“So what else were you planning on doing today besides taking naps in public spaces?”

She narrowed her eyes at him, resisting the urge to stick out her tongue like a child.

“I don’t know, I hadn’t really planned much.”

He gave her a curious look “have you been on a proper tour of Rome yet?”

She shrugged. “I haven’t seen everything yet.”

“Have you seen the Vaticano?”

She shook her head. She’d meant to, but every time she remembered that it was something she should do it was too late in the day to have time to fully appreciate it or she couldn’t bear the thought of lining up with all those Americans.

“We still have enough time to go check it out today.”

She really needed to stop doing this; accidentally spending whole days with him. But she really didn’t want to. 

They moved from room to room, and Eleonora couldn’t seem to form words. She was too amazed by the beauty around her, constantly stopping to look.

Edoardo was patient with her, pointing out little details in the designs and telling her his favourite spots.

More than once she managed to drag her eyes from the art and was met with him standing there smiling at her, looking at her like she was the attraction instead.

Time flew by, and soon they’d spent more than three hours wandering around together. It was just so easy spending time with him. 

Yes, they were surrounded by artwork and it wasn’t necessarily hard to entertain themselves, but Eleonora felt like they could do anything and it would be fun. They could go grocery shopping and it’d probably be the highlight of her week.

Would he really spend all this time with her if she was just another mark on the wall?

She tore her gaze away from the ceiling above her, looking over at Edoardo. He was looking at her again, and the look in his eyes made her melt. 

She wanted to be more than a mark on the wall, she really did. 

Somehow she hadn’t truly realised that before; just how much she wanted him. She didn’t think she could bear being just another girl he used and threw aside.

She realised they were staring at each other. “Why do you keep looking at me?”

Edoardo shrugged. “I’ve seen this before. I like watching you see it for the first time.”

Eleonora didn’t know what to say. She wished she’d made that pros and cons list. She knew he could hurt her; more than she’d ever been hurt before. Now that the reality that Edoardo might be serious about her was setting in, there was a hole in her stomach where the fear of that was eating away at her. 

“C’mon, let’s go.”

She stopped to look at the ceiling one more time and the person behind her ran into her, swearing at her in an American accent.

Edoardo wrapped his arm around her waist, guiding her towards the next room. “At least you didn’t knock his bags to the ground.”

She pretended to be offended, but quickly gave up the act and laughed with him. 

The crowd thickened as they made their way through the hall, and Eleonora was glad that she wasn’t so short she couldn’t see over the heads of the people around her. Even so, she felt her chest constrict and her heartbeat pick up as they slowly moved with the crowd. 

A hand slipped into hers, fingers threading through hers. She looked down at her hand and then up at Edoardo. He just smiled gently at her.

“I don’t want to lose you” he said, and her heart was beating fast for a completely different reason now. She stared at him, mouth slightly ajar.

“In the crowd, you know” he said, his free hand going to the nape of his neck.

She nodded her head wordlessly, mentally scolding herself for reacting so obviously.

His thumb gently rubbed over the back of her hand, and she felt like her entire arm had been shocked. It was like there was electricity running through her veins. How did he do this to her?

He kept holding onto her hand after the crowd had thinned, and she didn’t pull away. Neither of them dared comment on it, and their hands stayed entwined for another long moment.

They spent another two hours wandering around and taking it all in; Eleonora taking in the art and Edoardo taking her in.

Eleonora gasped when she looked at her phone and saw the time. “We’ve been here five hours!”

Edoardo laughed. “You can’t see the Vaticano in less time than that, Ele.”

She slid her phone back into her pocket, looking down at the ground before looking up at him. “I had fun.”

He smiled at her as he held the door open for her. “I always have fun with you.”

She looked away and tried to hide her smile, wishing again that this could be easy.

“I can’t believe we went that long without food though” Edoardo said.

Eleonora laughed. “Yes, I’m starving.”

“Dinner?” he asked.

She nodded in response, her stomach growling as she did. 

They got dinner at a nearby restaurant that Edoardo said was good.

Eleonora teased him as they waited for their food, saying that she’d judge him if the food didn’t live up to expectations.

“I have very high standards for pizza, Edo.”

“You’ll have even higher standards after trying his, okay. Trust me.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Have you ever been to America? I want to try New York pizza, and Chicago deep dish pizza.”

“It’s probably terrible” he laughed. “I haven’t been.”

“Probably” she agreed. “But I want to try it so I can justify that opinion.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Fair enough. You should go there.”

“Maybe I will.” She thought for a second about whether she should bring it up, before saying “Silvia went there last holidays. She brought back Jello. It was terrible.”

She watched Edoardo’s reaction, not meaning to make a point by bringing up Silvia this time. He laughed and she let out a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding. 

“Jello sounds gross” he said.

“It was so bad” she laughed.

After dinner, Edoardo offered to drive her home.

She realised as she got into his car that they’d spent a ridiculous amount of time together, almost ten hours, and that she’d happily spend another ten with him.

Friends.

Edoardo reached forward to turn the music down as he started the car. “Do you remember when I asked you if you wanted a lift?”

Eleonora laughed. “Of course I do.”

“It’s just funny that you’re in my car now, is all.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. You’re not the worst person in the world.”

He laughed. “So I’m not a faccia di cazzo after all?”

“No you absolutely are” she said, laughing too.

Edoardo turned the music back up, and Eleonora spent the car ride going through his music selection. 

Soon enough he was pulling up outside her house. None of the girls had ever been there.

“Are your parents home?”

She shrugged. “I think so.”

He was quiet, and she wished she didn’t have to deal with this topic. Not just with him, with anyone. A normal family would be great.

“So Fede and I are having a party next week. Do you and the girls want to come?”

She was glad he hadn’t asked questions she didn’t want to answer.

“Yeah, I’ll ask the girls.”

“Fede really wants Eva to come” he said, drawing out the ‘really’.

She laughed. “Of course he does.”

Edoardo shrugged. “I’m not sure what’s going on there.”

She was surprised he was so honest about it. “Yeah, I’ll let you know what the girls say.” She hesitated before adding “it’ll probably be a yes”.

He just grinned in response.

She went to open the door but stopped, turning to face him again. She leant over towards him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Good night, Edo.”

“Night, Ele.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a small little look at some of chapter two from Edoardo’s POV.

Edoardo did a double take when he glanced over at the girl lying on the blanket in the middle of the park. He stopped in his tracks, watching her for a long moment as she tossed her book away from her and threw one arm up to cover her face.

She’d been ignoring him.

He’d messaged her god knows how many times, and he didn’t want to think about how truly pathetic he’d felt each time he didn’t get a reply. Sometimes he felt like maybe she just wasn’t that into him. He’d decided yesterday that he should give her space. He’d been persistent enough. If she wanted him, she could find him.

And then, of course, suddenly he ran into her. And he didn’t have the willpower or strength to walk away.

He walked over to her, taking in the vision of her spread out of the blanket. He tried not to let his mind wander, but he was a red-blooded teenage boy and she was in a pair of tailored shorts that showed more skin than he’d ever seen from her.

“Eleonora?” He used her full name, remembering how she’d yelled at him the other day. She’d been so angry.

God he hoped she wouldn’t yell at him again.

She opened her eyes and met his gaze, sitting upright. God she had the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen. He felt like they saw right through him. He’d never felt more exposed than when he was around her. Strangely, he liked it.

“Hi” she said, and he wasn’t sure if she was happy to see him or not.

His hand went to the back of his neck as he greeted her back. He shouldn’t have come over here. He looked like an idiot.

She asked him if he wanted to sit, and his body responded on autopilot. He nodded, saying “sure”.

“You can call me Ele, Edo” she said, and just like that he felt his body fill with warmth. She shouldn’t be able to affect him like this, so easily. He was a pile of mush for her; it was pathetic.

He joined her on the blanket, leaning back on his hands.

They sat in silence for a moment, and he watched Eleonora’s fingers twist a lock of hair around her finger.

He wanted to hold her hand. The other day when he’d held her, been that close to her, it had been intoxicating. He’d never wanted somebody like this before.

But he knew he’d stepped over a line. She’d run away from him and ignored him for almost a week, and it had been absolute shit. He’d rather agree not to act on his feelings then not be able to hang out with her like they had that day. He just wanted to spend time with her. It was pathetic, but he’d never enjoyed spending time with someone like that before. He knew they could do absolutely anything and he’d have a good time.

“I’m sorry about the other day” he said, his heart beating too fast. Please don’t yell at me, he thought.

Eleonora’s hand stilled, and she slowly looked over at him. “Are you really though?”

His stomach flipped. She didn’t believe him. She thought he was a complete stronzo.

He locked eyes with her, desperate to communicate how truly sorry he was. “I am. You have reservations about us as a couple, and I should respect that.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, and he knew his feelings for her weren’t going away anytime soon. He just wanted to hold her. But he also knew exactly why she was wary of him. He’d really fucked things up with Silvia, and he wished that fucking wall had never been made.

“I know why you think that you’d just be a mark on a wall to me, and I’m happy to prove you’re not.”

He took a breath, eyes scanning her face.

“Can we be friends?”

Fuck he wanted to be more than friends. But he wanted to just be around her more.

She nodded her head and he knew from the warmth spreading throughout his body that it was the right choice.

“Okay. Friends” he said with a nod of his head. He leaned forward to grab his bag from where he’d left it on the blanket. He pulled his book out of it, lying down next to Eleonora.

He tried to focus on the words on the page, but he could feel her eyes burning holes in him. He reread the same sentence three times before realising that maybe, just maybe, she felt something for him that was a little more than friendly.

“Friends don’t look at their friends like that, Ele” he said without thinking. He prayed his words wouldn’t backfire on him.

Her only response was to pick up her book and join him by lying down. He decided to take that as a good response.

He was struggling to keep track of the story on the page when he saw Eleonora put her book down on the blanket. He watched her close her eyes, slinging an arm over her face.

God she was beautiful. He could watch her all day. He watched her for a long moment before realising that she’d probably think he was a creep if she caught him staring.

Turning his attention back to his book, he tried to block out the girl beside him so he could focus. He was about to give up when he felt her move beside him.

His eyes refused to focus on the page as he used all his willpower to stop himself from looking over at her. Then he felt her move closer, rolling over and placing her head on his upper arm. He froze, too scared to move in case she stopped what she was doing.

He stayed frozen for a long moment before risking a look down at her, surprised to find her fast asleep.

He smiled at her, letting his body relax. He placed his book down, resting his now free hand on his stomach.

She looked so peaceful.

He watched her nuzzle her face slightly into his arm, warmth bursting in his chest as she did, and one of her hands came up to rest on his forearm.

He watched her longingly, trying to ingrain this image in his brain. Why did this have to be so complicated? Why couldn’t it just be this, the two of them? Why did the bullshit have to exist?

The wind blew a strand of her hair so it was covering her face, and he hesitated a moment before moving his free hand up to gently brush it back behind her ear.

He took the bottom of a lock of her hair between his fingers, his knuckles brushing the bottom of her chin. He was pushing his luck. She was going to wake up any second, glare at him and say “vaffanculo”.

After almost ten minutes, his arm was starting to fall asleep. He begrudgingly started to edge his arm out from underneath her, lifting his head up to watch her as he did.

Eleonora made a noise of disapproval and he froze, his eyes scanning her face for any sign of her waking up. But her face stayed relaxed, so he attempted to move his arm again.

She made another sound of disapproval, but before he could react she surprised him by lifting her torso up just enough for him to move his arm up. He quickly moved his arm out from underneath her, watching her in disbelief as she placed her head back down on his chest once he had.

He was frozen, not quite believing his eyes.

Eventually he relaxed, curling his arm around her slightly so he was holding her against him. He realised he was grinning, but he didn’t really care.

If only they could do this every day. If this was his normal, he’d be the happiest man alive.

His hand rubbed up and down her back slowly, and he looked away from her and up at the sky as he let himself appreciate the moment.

They lay there for another ten minutes before Edoardo realised that Eleonora probably wouldn’t appreciate being seen like this. He should’ve already woken her up. He was a shit friend. Or whatever they were.

What if Silvia saw them? He didn’t want Eleonora to get into a fight with her friend.

He sighed, looking down at her and moving his arm from around her. “Ele, wake up.”

Eleonora groaned lightly, groaning “no”, and he smiled down at her.

He tried not to fantasise about other scenarios where he’d wake her up in the morning. “Come on, honey” he said, knowing that if she was fully conscious she’d probably tell him not to call her that. Whoops.

“No. Va’ via.”

He laughed, because even half asleep she was telling him to go away. Of course.

She opened her eyes, and he stifled more laughter at the look on her face when she took in their current position. Her cheeks were turning red, and the contrast with her eyes was stunning.

“You’ve only been asleep about twenty minutes, don’t worry” he said.

She sat up, rubbing her eyes. He watched her run her fingers through her hair, wondering how she looked that good half asleep.

“Sorry” she said, and he didn’t know why she was apologising.

“I really didn’t mind” he said with a stupid grin on his face. “Don’t worry, you don’t snore.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “You probably do.”

“Wouldn’t you love to know” he laughed, hoping she really did want to know. He wanted her to find out, too.

He knew he was blatantly flirting with her, and that he should probably stop. He’d been saying they were friends less than an hour ago. But she wasn’t yelling at him for flirting with her, so maybe friends could flirt with each other?

“So what else were you planning on doing today besides taking naps in public spaces?” he asked.

“I don’t know, I hadn’t really planned much” she said, and he took note of the fact that she seemed to like wandering around the city with no plans. It was like she couldn’t stand to be at home.

He decided not to ask questions, hoping that she’d tell him eventually if he didn’t press it. “Have you been on a proper tour of Rome yet?”

She shrugged. “I haven’t seen everything yet.”

He thought of his favourite place, where he and his family used to go all the time. His sister had loved it. “Have you seen the Vaticano?”

She shook her head.

“We still have enough time to go check it out today” he said, knowing there was a good chance she’d tell tell him to piss off and leave her alone.

She surprised him by nodding her head with an “okay”. He wondered how the hell they’d gone from her walking away from him asking her out with repeated “no”s to spending two days together.

He didn’t want it to stop.


	4. Chapter 4

Eleonora hated that she was overthinking this party.

What to wear, when to get there, how to greet him. She was driving herself insane.

Was she meant to dress innocently, flirtatiously, what? If she got there on time would she look too eager, if she got there fashionably late would she seem like she was trying too hard to be cool? Was she meant to hug him, was she meant to pretend they weren’t kind of-almost-friends now? She’d kissed him on the cheek last time she saw him, for God’s sake.

The only thing she knew for sure was that she wasn’t meant to be letting herself feel this way.

They were meant to be friends. Nothing more. God, she wasn’t even sure that Silvia would be okay with friendship.

She needed to talk to Silvia.

Actually, she needed to talk to Eva.

It was a good thing she was already about to leave her place for Eva’s. All the girls were getting ready there before they headed to Edoardo and Fede’s party.

God, she was going to be in Edoardo’s house.

She was going to be in the general vicinity of his bed.

Was that where he and Silvia had sex?

That was a bit of a mood killer.

Good. She needed that.

She’d already been in his house before, too, when he and Silvia had kissed. 

Suddenly her mood killer was working a little too well. She wasn’t sad for Silvia anymore, she was sad for herself. Why hadn’t Edoardo set his sights on her then? He’d wanted Silvia first, even if it wasn’t for long.

Eleonora sighed, staring into the depths of her closet. She was still unsure about what the hell she was supposed to wear.

Screw it. She wasn’t dressing for him. She’d wear whatever she wanted.

She rifled through her drawers, tugging out a pair of black shorts and a sleeveless grey turtleneck. 

There. Done.

She threw on a pair of shoes, grabbing her bag and walking out of her room.

She paused at her kitchen counter to write her parents a note telling them where she was going. Did she really even need to do this? Would they even care? She sighed, writing a brief explanation anyway before leaving.

The route to Eva’s house was a familiar one. Eva’s house felt more like home than her house did. 

Eleonora realised as she stood outside Eva’s house that she was way earlier than she’d intended. She sighed, wondering if she should kill some time somehow. She had no idea how she’d do that, though. With a sigh, she knocked on the door.

Paola opened the door, greeting Eleonora with a hug. 

“Ele, darling! How are you? Have you eaten?”

God, Eleonora loved Paola. 

“I’m good, same as usual. Yes, I’ve eaten. How have you been? How’s work?”

In no rush to get to Eva’s room, she chatted with Paola for a few more minutes. She wished she could talk to her mother like this.

She eventually made her way through the house to Eva’s room. She knocked once, announcing herself, before opening the door.

Eva looked at her with eyes like saucers, clothes scattered on the floor around her. “Thank god you’re here, I have no idea what to wear.”

Eleonora grinned. At least she wasn’t the only one. “Give me some options.”

Once she’d helped Eva pick out an outfit, they both lay down on her bed.

“So why are you so worried about your outfit?”

Eva turned her head to look at Eleonora, her cheek resting against her bedspread. Eleonora watched it turn red. “You know why. Don’t make me say it.”

Eleonora chuckled. “I think you should say it.”

Eva was suddenly very interested in her fingernails. 

“It’s a really bad way to start something off, right? Cheating?”

Eleonora frowned. Eva had a point. The thought had crossed her mind before.

“And I broke up with Gio to be alone, not be with someone else.”

Eleonora nodded. “I agree.”

Eva sighed. “He’ll just go find someone else.”

Eleonora frowned again. “Let him. You deserve someone who wants you, not someone else.”

There was a silence for a long moment.

Eva raised an eyebrow at her. “Why were you so eager to go to this party anyway?”

It was Eleonora’s turn to have her cheeks heat up. She shrugged, looking up at the ceiling.

Eva laughed. “Hmm.”

They were both silent for a long moment before Eva spoke again. “You know, I really hated Edoardo. Then I spent a few minutes with him. And he’s...nice?”

Eleonora hummed a reply. Eva didn’t know the half of it. 

Eleonora could feel Eva’s eyes on her. She spoke up before Eva could.

“So what’s going to happen with you and Fede?”

Eva sighed. “I don’t know. What’s going to happen with you and Edoardo?”

Eleonora groaned. She should’ve known Eva wouldn’t let her dodge the topic that easily. 

“Nothing.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t do that to Silvia.”

Neither of them spoke for a long moment, then Eva said “I think he really likes you”.

Eleonora sighed. “What if he doesn’t? What if he just wants another mark on the stupid wall? I’d be the stupidest girl yet, because I should know better. I saw what he did to Silvia.”

“I don’t know, he’s putting in a lot more effort than he seems to with other girls.”

Eleonora just shrugged. “We said we’d be friends.”

“Yeah, okay” Eva said in a tone that suggested she did not agree at all.

“I don’t know what to do about Silvia. I don’t want her to hate me.”

“Hey if she’ll hate you she’ll hate me too. I’m friends with Edoardo.”

Eleonora opened her mouth to protest, but then realised that’s exactly what Eva wanted her to do.

“Yeah, we’re both friends with him. Should we tell Silvia?”

“Yeah, we’ll talk to her when she gets here. Which should be soon.”

And that’s how Eleonora, Eva and Silvia ended up sitting awkwardly in silence at Eva’s dining table. Silvia had let slip to Paola that she hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and apparently that meant they all had to eat. Paola was making them food, enough for Fede and Sana too, since they’d be arriving at any minute.

Eleonora wished Silvia had more to say. Why was today the one day she ran out of new cat pictures?

Eva spoke first, and god Eleonora loved that girl. Part of her felt like she’d burst into flames just from speaking his name in front of Silvia. Her entire body felt hot just thinking about him in her presence. She felt like a sinner in church.

She remembered how her body had felt like it was burning in the homewares store. When she’d woken up in his arms. When he’d held her hand.

She was evil. She was going to hell.

“So, you know how Edoardo gave me a lift to school a while ago?”

Silvia just nodded. Eleonora felt like she might throw up.

“Well, I’ve kind of kept in touch with him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, we talk a bit. Tag each other in Facebook posts.”

Silvia didn’t respond for a second, and Eleonora watched her with curiosity as she kept her face carefully composed. It seemed Silvia was keeping herself carefully composed, too.

“Are you dating him or something?”

Eva laughed. “No, no, no! Nothing like that. It just...we’re kind of friends? And I wanted to know if that’s okay?”

Eleonora had managed to avoid Silvia’s scrutiny so far this conversation, but suddenly she was trapped in her gaze.

“And you?”

“He asked me if we could be friends.” Eleonora conveniently left out the part where he’d made it clear he wanted more. Where it was clear she wanted more too.

She didn’t mean to keep talking, but for some reason she did. “But I don’t want to do anything that would hurt you, so if us being friends with him makes you uncomfortable...”

Silvia shook her head. “No, it’s fine. This is good, actually.”

Eleonora grinned. Oh thank god. She felt Eva’s eyes on her, so quickly tried to compose herself.

“Who knows, maybe Edoardo and I can be friends too. He apologised to me. Maybe I’ll talk to him tonight.”

Silvia’s words made Eleonora feel things. Like, get away from my man things. Which was completely ridiculous. 

“So we’re all cool with being friends with Edoardo?”

Silvia nodded, and much too late Eleonora did too.

They walked through Edoardo’s front door, and Eleonora could feel her heart beating in her throat. She needed to see a doctor. For so many reasons. 

Maybe she just needed a lobotomy. 

Maybe she should go join a convent. Go be with God.

The girls made their way into the kitchen to find cups, opening one of the bottles of wine they’d brought. Eleonora downed the contents of her cup much too fast, filling it up again but not taking a drink from it. If she was too drunk she might do something stupid. She needed to be just happy enough that she could deal with the awkwardness of being around all these people at once.

They migrated to the dance floor, Eleonora marvelling at how other people were so drunk already.

“There’s Edoardo!”

Eleonora turned and looked where Silvia was gesturing, experiencing tunnel vision for a second. It took her a second to notice that Fede stood behind him as well, part of a larger group of boys.

Edoardo looked good. He always did. 

He looked towards the dance floor and their eyes met, a grin spreading wide across his face.

“Let’s go say hi” Silvia said, already making her way towards him.

Eva tugged at Eleonora’s arm, making her follow them. Eleonora made sure to stay at the back of group, wanting to suss out the situation first. 

Edoardo pulled Eva into a hug as soon as she was close enough, and Eleonora felt her stomach flip with jealousy. But maybe that meant she could hug him too? God, she was acting like a lovesick lunatic. 

So what if he was decent company and looked like art come to life. She needed to pull herself together.

She watched as Eva turned to Federico, hugging him much more awkwardly then she had Edoardo.

Edoardo was talking to Fede and Sana, who had greeted him with a high five and handshake respectively, but kept looking to Eleonora. He started inching closer, but Silvia interrupted by stepping forward and pulling him into a hug. His eyes were on Eleonora, looking like he didn’t have a clue how to react. It was mildly amusing.

“Eva and Ele tell me we’re all friends now” Silvia said, pulling back from the hug. Edoardo tore his eyes away from Eleonora to look at Silvia.

“Um, yes” Edoardo responded, his hand flying to the back of his neck. Eleonora smirked.

“We’ll all have to hang out now” Silvia said, and Edoardo just nodded.

He broke away from her, making his way to Eleonora. He lifted his arms up to hug her just a beat too soon, and she grinned. 

He was overeager, and she was glad she wasn’t the only one. He pulled her against him, wrapping his arms tightly around him. Her arms rested around his waist, trying not to be too enthusiastic about it.

“Hey Ele” he said softly in her ear, and she shivered involuntarily. There goes that plan. “I’ve missed you.”

She was screwed.

A few hours had passed, and the night had gone pretty much as Eleonora had expected. Silvia was nearing the stage of drunkenness that meant she’d have to go home soon, and Eva was currently in the corner sitting on Fede’s lap.

Eleonora had maintained a good level of tipsy so far, but her cup was empty and that was an issue. She left the dance floor, where she, Sana and Fede had been making glorious fools of themselves, and made her way to the kitchen.

It was surprisingly empty. Weren’t kitchens meant to be the heart of the home? Where people congregated and whatnot? Maybe that was just in movies.

She searched for the bottles of wine they’d brought along, wondering if the other girls had drunk more than she thought. She should probably check on Eva and Silvia.

Edoardo said her name from behind her, and she spun around much too fast. Friends don’t have such a violent reaction to their friend’s voice, she told herself.

“Hey, Edo.”

He grinned at her, and she didn’t think she’d done anything to warrant such joy but sure.

“Are you out of drinks?”

Eleonora frowned. “I think we must be.”

“I’ll make you something.”

She hoped he was going to make something seriously complicated. Something utterly time consuming. She hoped they’d be there all night.

She leant against the counter, watching him fetch ingredients. Unfortunately, he just seemed to be making her a something, lime and soda.

“How’s your night been so far?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, good. Enjoying playing host?”

He shrugged, keeping his eyes down as he cut up a lime. “I don’t know, sometimes being the host means you have to spend time with everybody when you’d rather...not.”

She looked down at her hands. That didn’t necessarily mean anything.

She opened her mouth to say something, looking up to find him much closer than he had been a second ago. He stepped forward even closer, and her breath caught in her throat.

“Um, I just need the vodka behind you.” 

She nodded, but didn’t move. He reached behind her, picking up the bottle. She could feel the heat radiating off him, and her mind flashed back to all the previous times they’d been this close. 

“How strong do you..”

Her fingertips grazed his chest, and he stopped mid-sentence. She didn’t know what she was doing.

His face was suddenly closer to hers, so close she could feel his breath fanning across her face. 

His nose brushed against hers, and she heard a thump behind her as he set the vodka down. The noise and the contact combined brought her back to her senses. She flattened her hand out on his chest, gently pushing him away. “Not here.”

He pulled away immediately. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

He picked up the bottle again, quickly finishing off her drink. He slid it across the counter towards her, seemingly trying to keep his distance. 

She felt like the awkwardness was suffocating her.

“I’ll...talk to you later then?”

He looked up, eyes locking with hers, and she couldn’t read the expression on his face. He nodded slowly, and she wished this wasn’t so damn complicated.

She realised too late, as she was walking away with the drink in her hand and wondering if she’d just screwed up, that she hadn’t actually said he shouldn’t kiss her.

Silvia plopped down on the couch, leaning her head on Eleonora’s shoulder.

Eleonora had been sitting with Eva, but then Eva had gone off with Fede. Eleonora felt like maybe she should have tried harder to dissuade Eva, but whatever.

“Do you think that now we’re friends with Edoardo he might see me as more than a hookup?”

Eleonora froze, too many emotions flooding through her for her to decide on one reaction. “Uh, what?”

“I just, y’know, maybe if he starts seeing me as a friend it could eventually turn into that.”

"Or you could just be friends?” Eleonora knew her tone was a little harsh, and she knew why, but she was a whole lot of drinks deep and she just didn’t care. She was trying so hard to look after Silvia’s feelings, but honestly what Silvia had with Edoardo wasn’t that deep. She was fairly certain she’d spent more time with him than Silvia ever had. None of it was fair.

“Can you find out if he’s into anyone right now?”

Eleonora sighed. Part of her wanted to say ‘me, he’s into me’ but she didn’t really know that for sure. What did being ‘into’ someone entail? Did it mean he wanted to date her, sleep with her and ditch, what? “No, Silvia. I’m not doing that. I thought you wanted to be friends with him.”

Silvia groaned, staggering to her feet. “You’re no help.”

Eleonora pulled her back down onto the couch. “Come on, Sil.”

Silvia shook her head. “No, I need another drink.”

“No, you don’t.”

Silvia grunted in an unappreciative way, but sat still and rested her head on Eleonora’s shoulder again.

Eleonora gestured to Sana and Fede as they walked past, beckoning them closer. “When are you guys heading home?”

Sana looked at Silvia, looking mildy amused. “We were planning to leave any minute. Silvia, want a ride?”

Eleonora sighed, relieved. Next to her, Silvia started protesting. She almost laughed, but she was too busy feeling like there was ice in her veins as she replayed Silvia’s words from earlier.

Sana and Fede helped Silvia up, guiding her outside.

Eleonora leant back, resting her head against the couch and closing her eyes.

“Ele!” Her eyes shot open.

He was drunker than he had been before. She studied his face, from his rosy cheeks to his messier-than-ever hair.

“Come dance with me” he said too loudly, holding out his hand for her and moving his weight from one foot to the other.

She knew she shouldn’t, but she was drunker than before too, and it was just dancing.

He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her into his side as he led her to the dance floor.

“Wait, am I allowed to do this?”

She looked at him in surprise, not sure what he was talking about.

They were in the middle of the dance floor now, and he pulled her closer to him by her waist. Letting go of her for a moment, he lifted her arms up and rested them around his neck. He started swaying, making her move with him. Why were they swaying like this to a fast song? She remembered how he’d danced with Silvia. This was nothing like that. He’d danced with Silvia like he was ensnaring prey. There was no trace of that here. She didn’t understand.

He moved one hand to the small of her back, holding her to him while his other found its way to the back of her head and tangled in her hair. His nose brushed against her temple. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. Part of her wondered if he was just using the dance floor as an excuse to hold her, but she brushed it off. Surely any second he’d try to take her up to his room.

“What do you want, Ele?”

“I don’t know what you mean, Edo.”

“Do you just not...” he sighed, pulling away to look at her.

She didn’t know what to say. “I have to go” she said, disentangling herself from him and turning to leave the dance floor. She darted out of the room, realising as she walked out his front door that she’d left her things inside. She had her card and her phone and that was it.

She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. Whatever.

“Ele, talk to me.”

She turned around to face him, digging her fingers into her arms.

“I can’t do this.”

He ran his fingers through his hair. “What exactly?”

Eleonora sighed again, moving one hand up to rub the bridge of her nose. “Silvia thinks that now we’re all friends you’ll start looking at her as more than a one night stand” she blurted out with a groan.

Edoardo stepped closer to her, reaching out and putting his hands on her upper arms. She wanted to push him away, but she also wanted him to go back to holding her. She settled on doing nothing.

“Silvia knows nothing’s going to happen between us. She could probably use the wake up call.”

Eleonora glared at him, taking a step back and away from him. “What, are you just trying to use me to get rid of her?”

He gaped at her. “What?”

Eleonora groaned, running her fingers through her hair. “I don’t want to do this. This is too much. It’s too hard.”

He stepped forward, taking her face in his hands. “It’ll be okay.” 

There it was again. That feeling of her whole body being on fire. That wasn’t meant to be a good thing, but god it was. 

He was looking at her with such tenderness, and she was so damn tired. This whole thing was exhausting. It felt like no matter what she did, she was going to lose somehow. Just once, she wanted to get what she wanted.

She bit her lip, at war with herself.

“Please, Ele, talk to me. We can figure this out together” he was slurring his words slightly from the alcohol. It was cute.

She didn’t want to talk, she thought as she stepped forward and pulled his face down to hers by his collar. 

He made a sound in the back of his throat, and she thought it was a sound of protest but then he moved one hand from her face to her waist and held her firmly against him.

God, she wished they’d done this sooner.

She sighed and he took advantage of it, deepening the kiss. She tangled the fingers of one hand into his hair. That stupid messy hair. 

She slid her other hand down his chest, moving it to the small of his back and pulling him tight against her.

They stayed like that for a long moment, wrapped up in each other. Eventually she needed air, pulling away from the kiss. He grinned down at her, and her face heated up under his gaze.

The heat burning through her from the kiss was sobering, and she realised what she’d done.

“I have to go home” she said. 

He nodded, still grinning. “We’re alright though?” He tucked her hair behind one ear, his thumb rubbing against her cheek.

“Yeah” she said, but she wasn’t sure.


	5. Chapter 5

Eleonora let out a sigh, her eyes focussed on the stain on her ceiling. The young girl who lived in this room before her had apparently squeezed a bottle of glitter glue a bit too hard and it had exploded. As far as stains go, a glittery one wasn’t so bad.

She let her eyes wander from the ceiling and around the room. You could tell it was meant to be a child’s room; her double bed barely fit in it.

She wished she was a kid again. Life was easier then.

She didn’t have to worry about kissing her friend’s crush and the risk of getting her heart broken back then.

She couldn’t stop thinking about it; the kiss.

She didn’t know kissing someone could feel like that.

Not that she’d kissed that many boys, but kissing other boys had never been like kissing Edoardo. 

She groaned. Her head already hurt from her hangover, she didn’t need her thoughts joining in on the party. She gave her blankets a shove, disentangling her body from them so she could get out of bed. Swinging her legs over the side of her bed, she thanked her former self for leaving a glass of water on her bedside table. At least she’d done one smart thing last night.

Nope, back in dangerous territory.

Nursing her forehead with one hand, she made her way into the kitchen to find something unhealthy to stuff her face with. 

She could tell her parents weren’t home from the stillness of the house as she walked through it. Good. She didn’t want to deal with them right now. She gave the kitchen counter a brief glance as she walked past. No note. Of course.

She decided then that she didn’t have much of an appetite.

Rubbing her forehead with the heels of both hands, Eleonora groaned. She’d shower instead, that was a good plan. Clean her sins off.

She slumped to the floor in the shower, bringing her knees up to her chest. She sat there for far too long, letting her soaked hair create a curtain between her and the rest of the world.

She didn’t know where to go from here.

She could pretend it never happened, blame it on the alcohol and justify never telling Silvia somehow. But she’d irreversibly admitted to herself, and Edoardo, that she liked him. It wasn’t just mild flirtation now, she’d basically thrown herself at him.

She’d actually pulled him to her but, y’know, details.

God, she really liked him. But he was Edoardo. It was a surefire recipe for disaster.

She used to pride herself on being one of those girls who never let a boy get in the way of friendship. She used to go on and on about how no boy was that special, how there were so many of them you could just find a replacement.

And then she had to go and get attached to Edoardo.

She kept having to remind herself he’d treated Silvia badly, that he’d slept with a ridiculous amount of girls and was only interested in one thing, that he’d inevitably break her heart into a million pieces.

But when he held her like he did last night, when he drunkenly slurred that they’d figure anything out together, when he’d looked at her on the dance floor with so much insecurity...it was easy to let herself fall for that boy.

But what was she going to do? Date him and let Silvia hate her when they’d inevitably break up in a month or two? He’d get sick of waiting for sex, or he’d finally get it and leave. She’d be a mark on a wall, and it’d be over.

She wiped her hair away from eyes. That wasn’t going to happen.

She finished showering, wrapping a towel around herself and walking into her room. She picked her phone up from her bed, warmth spreading through her chest at the sight of a message from Edoardo.

God, she was weak.

Internally hitting herself, she opened it up to read him asking her whether she was awake. Apparently he was hungover. He wanted to know if she was too. She sighed, debating whether or not she should reply before exiting the app on her phone and throwing it back onto her bed. It was a no.

She changed into some hungover-approved comfy clothes, leaving her wet hair to air dry. As she walked back to the bathroom to hang up her towel, she heard knocking at the door. She left it, figuring her parents weren’t home and none of the girls knew where she lived so the safest bet was to not answer.

The knocking stopped before started up again, and Eleonora sighed as she gave in and walked through the house to the door.

She opened the door to a dishevelled Edoardo Incanti.

“Ele” he said brightly with a grin.

“Hey” she said, hating how breathless she sounded, but she was in shock.

He stepped forward, his hand finding her waist, and suddenly they were kissing.

Only for a second, but god. 

“How are you feeling? My head is killing me” he said as he stayed far too close for her brain to function properly. He looked like a mussed up puppy, and with a tug in her chest she remembered how cute he’d looked last night with his flushed cheeks as he slurred his words. Damn him for being a cute drunk.

“Yeah, feeling mediocre” she said, but her head had hurt just a little less during that kiss.

“Yeah” Edoardo agreed. “So you left your bag at mine last night and I was in need of some coffee and I thought you might be too. So I figured I’d bring you some.”

She realised that in the hand not holding her waist he was holding a tray with two cups of coffee, her bag hanging off his forearm.

How the hell was she not meant to fall for this shit? And why did the sight of him nonchalantly carrying her handbag make her want to jump him? She was a mess.

"So can I come in then? I’m more than happy to stand here with you if you want though” he said with a grin.

“Yeah okay” she found her mouth saying without her brain’s consent. She took a step back to let him in, and his body brushing against her as he walked past was surely on purpose. 

She closed the door and turned to find him waiting for her.

“Are your parents home?” he asked, and she could detect a hint of apprehension in his voice.

“No, they’re not” Eleonora said, her voice clipped.

“Are they out for the day?” He asked, and she stopped herself from rolling her eyes. Of course he didn’t want to meet her parents.

“Probably” she replied. He didn’t push her for details.

She led him through the house to the kitchen, deciding that she was finally ready to eat. He placed her bag down on the kitchen counter and sat down at the dining table that was never used, sipping his coffee while she busied herself making some toast.

She could feel his eyes on her, but she refused to meet them with hers. She was at a loss for what to do next, she’d screwed up as soon as she’d let him inside. Where were they meant to go from here?

She sat across from him at the table, taking a bite of her toast. He smirked at her, sliding her coffee across the table before standing up and moving around to her side. He dragged the seat next to her even closer before sitting down, his side brushing hers. She stared at him with her toast frozen in midair. The smirk hadn’t left his face, and her eyes grew wide as he leant in and took a bite of her toast.

“Hey!” she said in an outraged tone.

He just kissed her cheek as a reply, the bastard.

She was too hungover for this shit. It was too hard to keep her emotions in check when he was acting like this.

She grumpily ate her toast and coffee, and he seemed more than happy to sit in silence with her.

“So” he said after she’d finished her toast. He looked down at his hands. “What’s the deal with your parents?”

She sighed. “Let’s not do this, Edo.”

He laughed humourlessly. “Do what? Talk?”

She pursed her lips. “I haven’t talked to Eva about this, why should I talk about it with you?”

“Because...” he trailed off, sighing. “Ele, come on. You know why.”

“No, I don’t” she said, staring him down.

“I thought after last night...”

“What?”

He looked up at her, frowning. “Ele, you kissed me.”

“I was drunk” Eleonora responded with a shrug.

He gave her a look that said he didn’t believe her. “We weren’t that drunk. What happened? I thought you said we were good?”

“Kissing you once doesn’t mean I have to tell you anything. I don’t owe you anything.”

“Of course you don’t owe me anything!” he exclaimed before sighing. “I care about you.”

Eleonora sighed, getting up from the table. 

“I can’t do this. Last night was a mistake.”

“Ele, come on. You don’t have to tell me about your parents. I just wanted you to know that you can.”

Eleonora put her plate in the sink, keeping her back to him. Her heart was beating way too fast. She wasn’t in control of this situation, and it killed her.

Finally, she turned to face him. He was watching her. “I think we should just forget last night happened. I understand if you don’t want to be just friends, but that’s all I think this should be.”

He sighed. “Ele, you know I’m okay with being friends.”

She interrupted him before he could continue. “Really? Is that why you hold my hand and lean in close whenever you can?”

Edoardo stood up, making his way closer to her. “But it’s not just me doing that? You cuddle up to me and you give me that look of yours and put your hands on my chest. It’s not just me.”

She knew he was right, but she wasn’t going to let that derail her argument.

“I’ve made up my mind, Edoardo.”

He groaned, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m trying really hard to be patient with you, Ele. But this is unfair. You can’t just mess with me like this.”

Eleonora crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh, please. We both know you only want one thing.”

He looked up at her. “That’s what this is about, isn’t it?”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “What?”

He sighed. “Why are you trying to break up with me?”

“We’re not dating.”

He rolled his eyes. “Okay. Why are you trying to not date me?”

“I’m trying to look after my friend” she said, but she knew she was lying.

“Bullshit. No, you’re not. You’re hanging onto this moral high ground of looking after your friend and not wanting her to get hurt, but it’s not about her at all is it? You’re just worried you’ll get hurt.” 

Eleonora didn’t respond and he sighed.

His tone was gentler when he spoke again. He walked over to her, taking her face in his hands. “I’m not going to hurt you, Ele. I care about you.”

She refused to look at him, keeping her eyes down. 

“Ele, honey.” He brushed her cheek with his thumb, leaning forward and resting his forehead against hers.

She finally met his eyes. 

“Ele, I care about you and I want to be with you. I don’t just want you so I can get a mark on a wall or anything else. I want to be with you.”

Eleonora finally spoke, and she hated her voice for sounding small. “I can’t deal with this not being real.”

“It’s real, Ele. Please believe me.”

She nodded.

“So we’re doing this? Not going back on it tomorrow?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Eduardo.”

His lips were on hers then, and she took a moment to respond. But when she did it was enthusiastically, throwing her arms around his neck. 

God, she loved kissing him.

His hand moved down to her waist and he held her to him while he guided her backwards until her back hit the kitchen bench. She let go of him for a moment, needing her hands to help her push herself up onto the bench, before returning one arm to his neck and losing the other hand in his hair. His hand on her waist tightened, groaning when she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Kissing him was somehow even better sober. God, she was hungover. She’d probably spontaneously combust if it was better without a headache.

He pulled his lips away from hers, dragging them slowly down her neck before speaking against her skin. “I wanna go on a date. Go on a date with me.”

She nodded, pulling his lips back to hers. His hand moved from her waist down her leg, sliding just underneath the hem of her shorts. She moved her arm from around his shoulders and down his chest before sliding it around to the small of his back. She tightened her legs while pushing him closer to her with her hand, gasping at the sensation. He took advantage of the access to her mouth, which means he stuck his tongue down her mouth but that sounds gross. It wasn’t. Quite the opposite, actually. 

Eleonora pulled the back of his shirt up, trying to signal to him that he should take it off.

“Ele, slow down” Edoardo said, pulling away and resting his forehead against hers.

She grinned. “I can’t see you shirtless?”

“Please, be gentle with me. I’m trying to control myself here.”

She laughed. She wanted to be the opposite of gentle with him, but fine.

“Wanna watch some TV?” he asked, and she laughed again.

“Netflix and chill, huh?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Eleonora Francesa.”

After they’d both caught their breath, and disentangled, she led him to her room so they could watch TV on her laptop. Both of them shared a look but didn’t say anything when they sat down on her bed.

“So this is your room? I thought you’d have more going on in here?”

She shrugged. “I’m not home much.”

He nodded, leaning over to kiss her shoulder. She took that as a response to the things she hadn’t said.

Eleonora picked a show that she’d watched before, wanting to pay less attention to the show and more to him.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. Resting her head on his chest, she was reminded of the time she’d woken up in his arms in the park. She smiled at the memory, moving up slightly so she could rest her head on his shoulder. She rested her arm on his chest, rubbing her thumb up and down every once in a while.

They’d made it through an episode and a half, and she was enjoying just being with him, but part of her wanted to address something.

Eleonora sighed, “so the thing with my parents”.

Edoardo looked like he was going to speak, but decided against it. He paused the show, lowering the lid of her laptop slightly before turning so he was on his side and facing her. He wound his arm around her waist, holding her against him.

“It’s not that they’re the worst parents in the world. They’re just...not around much.” She frowned as she tried to find the right words to explain it, because she’d never really tried before.

He cleared his throat before speaking. “Yeah, mine aren’t around much either. My parents split up, actually. My father lives in another city and my mother’s meant to live with us but she spends most of the time at our holiday house with her new boyfriend.”

She felt the knot in her stomach loosen a little at his words, thankful that he could somewhat relate. At least her parents were in the city.

“Us?” She asked.

He nodded. “I have a brother, but he moved to Milan for university.”

“Just one brother then?”

A look of pain crossed his face, and she knew this was a sensitive topic.

“I had a sister, but she died when I was younger.”

“I’m sorry” Eleonora said, her voice barely a whisper.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much why my parents split up. We all just kind of...broke, after she died. I don’t know, we didn’t talk about it and it just ruined us all. My father just left.”

She slid her arm around his shoulders, holding him close for a long moment. He pressed his face into her neck, and she could feel his breath hot against it.

“Nothing really happened to us, they just never really seemed interested in me” she mumbled into his hair. “They looked after me and everything, but I don’t know, they never showed up to anything. It’s stupid really.”

“It’s not stupid” he said, pulling away from her so he could look at her face. “You’re worth showing up for.”

That phrase might have broken something inside her, but she tried not to think about it.

He leant in, kissing her forehead then her cheek. She tightened her arms around his shoulders, burying her face in the crook of his neck. He kissed the top of her head, his hand rubbing her back.

“Why don’t you like being at home? Don’t you have a lot of your own space?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, either I feel unwelcome or like I have to entertain them so they’ll want me. I just prefer being somewhere else.”

“You can come over to mine whenever you like.”

Eleonora smiled. She leant back so she could look at him, leaning in to kiss him briefly. “Is that so?”

He nodded, pulling her back into the kiss. “Yep, can be there all the time.”

“Okay” she said against his lips, tightening her arms around his neck.

She ran her fingers through his hair, tugging gently and getting a sound of approval from him in response.

Edoardo cradled her head with one hand, pulling her underneath him. She revelled in the feeling of his weight on top of her, sliding her hand down his back and up his shirt. 

She wanted that shirt off, damn it.

She tugged it upwards until he got the message, pulling back with a grin before finally giving her what she wanted. He threw it to the side and it landed on top of the forgotten laptop, the weight of it closing the lid and putting an end to any chance of them innocently watching TV.

Her eyes roamed his chest, taking it all in. It definitely didn’t disappoint. 

He interrupted her staring by taking hold of her waist as his lips sought out hers. He ran his hands down her thighs and pulling them around his waist so he could settle between them. His hands made their way back up her waist, pulling her shirt slightly with him. She expected him to try to take her shirt off now, but he didn’t. Which was good, because while she wanted him shirtless, possibly forever, she wasn’t sprinting for the finish line. She was aiming for more of a marathon than a sprint.

Even so, his hands were burning into her waist underneath her shirt, and she was sure she’d be able to feel it long after they were gone. He’d be on her forever. His lips making their way down her neck didn’t help, leaving a trail of heat.

She pushed against his chest until he got the message and rolled over, keeping an arm tight around her waist as he did. She smirked down at him as she settled on his hips before leaning down to kiss him again.

She dragged her lips from his and down his neck, wanting to leave her own trail of fire. Maybe a slightly more permanent one, she thought, as she sucked on a spot just enough to leave a mark.

The front door slammed shut and Eleonora pulled away from Edoardo, using her hands against his chest to push herself upright. 

“Shit” she said, the panic evident in her voice. “That’s my parents.”

Edoardo nodded, sitting up and keeping one arm around her waist to hold her in place. He used his other hand to reach for his shirt. 

“You don’t have to meet them.”

He rolled his eyes at her, but he was smiling. “Thought we were past that, honey.”

She shrugged. “Old habits die hard.”

He leaned up, kissing her quickly on the lips before placing another on her neck. “We’ll get there.”

He put his shirt back on quickly, Eleonora asking again if he really wanted to meet her parents right then and there.

The third time she asked, he took her hand and led her outside. She couldn’t help but hope her parents had just gone straight into their room. This was going to be way too awkward for her to handle.

“Who is this?” a voice said as they walked through the living area.

They turned to see Eleonora’s father standing there with a smirk on his face.

Edoardo looked over at Eleonora, smiling before stepping forward with his hand outstretched. “I’m Edoardo Incanti. I’m Ele’s boyfriend.”


End file.
